Frustration

I woke up this morning so frustrated, I was on the verge of tears.  Doctors...... I'm so tired of feeling like they do nothing but blow me off.  I'm tired of them only treating symptoms but never getting to the core problem.  Consequently, I'm stuck taking a cocktail of pills twice a day that treats a variety of symptoms but doesn't do anything to help me.

For many years now, I've had increased symptoms of thyroid problems, coupled with my strong family history of thyroid disease (my mom, her sister, my grandmother, her sister, numerous aunts and cousins in generations past), yet doctors continue to treat every single symptom but refuse to attempt to treat my thyroid.  Yes, the lab work for thyroid comes in "normal", however it's the low end of normal and continues to drop significantly with each test.  I've done a ton of research to know that this is quite normal in people with thyroid issues.... their lab work doesn't show the entire picture.  I've also had nodules begin to show up on my thyroid as seen in ultrasounds; they aren't large but each time they look, another one shows up and the existing ones grow.  I continue to gain weight even though I'm actively trying to lose weight.  My skin is dry, especially my feet.  My hair is shedding more and more.  I suffer chronic fatigue, that is debilitating and physically painful.  The extra weight causes more problems with my asthma as it stresses my lung function, and it causes problems with my lower back and knees that at times makes me nearly immobile.  This all affects not only my quality of life, but my family as well.  Yet, what do the doctors do?  Toss more pills my way to treat the new or changing symptoms and tell me to come back in 3 months.  This cycle has been going on for YEARS.

My GP finally admitted that there is an issue with my thyroid and sent me to an endocrinologist.  What does she do?  Run some labs and schedule me to come back in 3 months.  But wait, one of the tests came back in the "grey" area, indicating adrenal failure/insufficiency.  Makes complete sense, considering I've lived my life on prednisone because of my severe asthma.  Apparently, my adrenal glands may have given up producing cortisol.  So, they call me in for a more in-depth test (I should hear the results today or tomorrow).  As I'm doing the test, I ask the nurse about it and ask "If I fail this test, what is the treatment?"  Her answer.... steroids daily for the rest of my life.  Really?  So I ask how steroids are going to help beyond replacing the cortisol in my system.  Are the steroids going to help my chronic fatigue, my weight gain, my migraines, my vertigo.....?" I already know the answer but ask anyway.  The answer is NO.  It might help a bit with my fatigue, but won't help with any of the other issues and may even make some of them worse.  Alrighty then.... so, why on earth would I find this answer and treatment acceptable?  I don't, plain and simple.  I know the effects of long term steroid use.  I know the effects of all the medicines I take.  My goal isn't to just take pills to cover up symptoms; my goal is to find and treat the core problem and get off as many of these meds I possibly can, and feel better so that I can enjoy life and my family again.

So it's come down to this..... Either my doctors work with me and stop only treating my symptoms individually, or I take things into my own hands.  I've researched enough to know that the risks of life long, daily steroids are greater than the risk of me trying thyroid medicine.  I know that if my thyroid is addressed and regulated, many of my issues/symptoms will go away and I can go off of all the excess of pills I take for them.  I know that I don't need a prescription to get thyroid meds and I can take control of this myself IF MY DOCTORS CONTINUE TO BLOW ME OFF.  I also know that there are natural ways to help balance my thyroid, but I need the meds to help as well.  I want to work with my doctors, but when they are working against me, I will no longer accept it.

When the endo office calls with the results from yesterday's test, my question will be "Will you try putting me on a low dose of thyroid medicine for one month to see how I do before putting me on life-long, daily steroids that will eat away at my organs?"  If the answer is no, then I will be done with the medical community regarding all this, order my own meds, and treat myself.  Doctors get upset when they feel their patients are self-diagnosing and self-perscribing, which is understandable.  But patients like myself, who've suffered for years, decades even, get frustrated when they feel they are not listened to, are blown off, and even harmed by their doctors insistence on only treating symptoms and not attempting to get at the core problem.  The risk to me taking a thyroid pill once a day is by far less than the risk of all the combined pills they have me taking now, each day.

Am I angry and frustrated today?  ABSOLUTELY!  When there is an answer available but your doctors refuse to even consider it, and you're the one living daily with the physical cost of their ineptitude, it's maddening.  Today, I'm taking back my life.  The Great Physician, my Heavenly Father, will heal me if He so chooses.  But He's given me a brain and great intuition, it's past time I put those gifts to use and stop relying on doctors who are not proactive and choose to "wait and see" when it's the quality of my life and my family that are at risk.