Well......

Yesterday went ok.... in so far that I lost a little weight, but not sure exactly how I did that.  Ugh!  Gotta say that I'm frustrated right now; with myself not WW.  I know God put me here on this path for a reason, yet in classic form, once the excitement wore off, I've been bucking Him every step of the way.  I really do want to lose weight but the problem is, "I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT" not see what God is wanting to show me through this journey.  I've got to just turn it all over to Him and let Him do with me what He wants, molding my life to His will.... that is so hard for me; I know in my heart and soul it's what is good and right, yet my human nature fights it and wants to control all of this.  I want to lose weight and have a frappe' every day.  I want to lose weight and enjoy the foods I want to enjoy, not worrying about their nutritional value or the long term effects it will have on my life.  I want to eat like a six year old and still be skinny.  I want.  I want. I want....

But it's not about what I want.  It's about what God is wanting to do in and through me.  I should feel blessed having so much of His attention right now... instead, I'm feeling deprived and upset because I can't have my own way.

Heavenly Father,  Please forgive my stubborn heart and behavior.  Please soften my heart and bend it toward you and your will.  Give me a willing spirit; one that desires to live only for you at the expense of my own selfish desires.  Give me your strength and allow me to lean on you when I'm weak.  Keep my eyes trained on your glory and my heart tightly bound to you.  Guide my thoughts, my words, and my actions, so that my focus is completely on you and you alone.  And, above all Father, thank you for never ever giving up on me through all my tantrums and failings.  Amen